Sorry doesn't seem like a word to express it

I wanted to post this up to ..... to say what is in my heart
"As You sat down and gaze .... both eye vision at me i could tell that you hate me..... Not bcoz of I irritate you but how i treat you . You eyes spell the letters spite to me ..... You wanna tear me apart with your bare hands when the opportunity rises ...... yes, you hate me coz i wasnt there when you cried, wasnt there when you held you happiness, wasnt even there to cormfort when you have just been through a break up ........... never showed a smile when u needed one .........never whisper those lovely words .... you hate me ...... and wish that i wasnt born .... and yet ..... and yet ..... your gaze shows me that you still want me back .... still ever willing to take me into your life ..... still waiting for me to show you love ... waiting for me to call your name... speak the right words ......................... As i stood there frost by the cold look .... I feel like i wanna cry ......... wat kind of a person have i bcome ? Can say sorry ? I dont think it can be described anymore .... please forgive me .... would You ?....................................................................................................................................................
.................................................Let start over .......................................................