Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Resoluting 2009

It has come !!!! The year of recession, the year of inflation, the year of difficulty, the year of drop outs , the year of pain and the year of troubles and uncertainty AND the year of challenge!!!

This year my resolutions are
1. To trust God in my decisions and life
2. To love Him with my life, heart and soul
3. To know Him

4. To honor my father and my mother
5. To love with all my heart, care make time for my friends
6. To change bad habits
7. To love and not hurt people
8. To grow in knowledge and emotions
9. To enjoy life to the fullest !!!!!!!!

Reflecting 2008

How would I have sum up 2008 ? 2008 was a good year for me. Am I making those long and irritating speeches again ?

This year I got to meet new friends (although some are old), I made 2 brothers , I felt what is it like to be "in love " with somebody. I was stuck at home for one month. I even enjoyed the sensation and joy of getting good results. I went 3-4 camps (if JS is a camp !!) Thrown to place I am unfamiliar. Went to hall where I am minority. Was tortured and made fun by seniors which in turn Is funny now. Experience college life and living out alone. Going to a new place of worship. Found new housemates. Dance in front of a crowd, Died 3 times in a sketch ( impossible) Look different about life. Fasted for one whole day. Almost died missing somebody, felt alone and desperate at times. Went to a crazy camp, felt Christmas was worthwhile after all, got the best gift and expeirence a heartbreak.

ALL IN ALL I THANK GOD, my Parents , my friends who lifted me up when I was down , who saw through me when I faked , and encourage when I was down , who walked when I was alone, talked to me when i was irritating , laugh with me when I was funny, cried with me when I needed a shoulder. You guys !! I would not have made it through 2008 without YOU.... I owe you

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A story of a fishermen

A young fishermen was on his journey across the lake. He was with his other friends sailing across. He already pictured what was going to happen. They would arrive at the bank of the other side and they would have a nice long nap. BUT suddenly the dark clouds came, the wind blew stronger, the waves hit the ship hard. He has been on the seas long enough to know that they would not survive this strike. The small little swirl here and there. He saw the terrifying look on his friends faces as they struggled. Suddenly an image caught his eyes. It was white and was man like. They thought this must be their doom but he looked carefully. He recognize that face and appearance. He called and the other person responded. Happy that he knew that person, He ran with all his might to meet him. Other saw and was amazed when he walked on water. Suddenly the wind and rain came more clearer and dangerous, he was afraid and sank all most immediately. If not for the person across He would not have made it . As soon that men stood on the ship, the storm was still.

Interesting story ? In life we go through more storms then happy days, we look ahead and think that it is a dead end, our little safety ship is wrecked and we are doomed for. We close our eyes and hope for the best. We often ruled out the existance of a supreme being that guards our lives. Even if we did, we like the young fisher see the storm and sink. Our storm are bigger than God Himself.

We are thought to trust no one from young because we know this trust betrays us. We have tried it and it proves to be correct or it seems to be. So then why should we trust ? Because sometimes trust is sometimes the best option we got. Look ahead and walk.... and before you know it, We can walk on water !!!

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Rain Drops on my face
Wash away
My bleeding I pray
Covering my tear from gaze

Rain drops on my face
I see your face
In the night and day

Rain drops on my face
A place to stay
I need to pray
And think of what is this grace

Rain drops on my face
My life I give
Career for thee
a chance to love I part

Rain drops on my face
Loyal a stray
Friends just for say
Who they are I dare not say

Rain drops on my face
a place love should grow
Disunity I see
Exclusion seems the norm

Rain drops on my face
I see her face
in every crowd surface
but now hope is gone without trace

Rain drops on my face
The cry of the night
where are THEE
Have mercy on me !!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Does God exist ? A fundamental question that no exact prove or formula can edify. A question that stand on every major religion in the country ! Does God exist ? The yes or no answer could determine a life. Does God exist ? I took a risk and believe. If God does exist, my career is washed. If God does not exist, my decision is a wash . If God does not exist, I am meaningless. If God does not exist, I am worse off. If God does not exist no law will. If God does not exist, I am making the biggest mistake in my existance. If He does and He cares , I gain all. I took the risk , still am taking but some part have withdrawn, what lies ahead is will I ?


What would be the best Christmas gift ?
I wish my sin no more

What would be the coolest Christmas gift ?
A new life

Why are we celebrating Christmas ?
The gift came

What is the gift ?
The gift that changes lives

Who is Santa Clause
A stupid old icon, i wish to bash ..

What is a christmas tree
A tree nonetheless ..!!!!!

What is with the party ?
Enjoying ourselves without the host !!

What are they celebrating ?
Having fun with our selves

Who is the main character ?
People forgot him, I did !!

What is your Christmas wish ?
I wish people will learn to appreciate Christmas !!!

quest and wonders

its going to be 2 soon,
i have learnt something at 18 up
I have learnt how to be a disciple so choon
I have learnt from Daniel to grow up

Its going to be 2 soon
I have observe lifestyle at 18 up
I have watch people hold hands and in shops like platoons
I have learnt who i am define by looking up

Its going to be 2 soon
I have observe dysfunctions in life
I notice a pure heart i need to prun
I value a friend that gives wisely

Its going to be 2 soon
I watch suffering in 18 up
HIV seems to be the new up
But second chance they crave within

Its going to be 2 soon
Fun night was a jam at 18 up
Many comedians came up
Even Charlie Bananas, Ears filled up

Its going 2 soon
Parting with friends at noon
Could not make myself rise up
To once again tear apart what we have built up

Its going to be 2 soon
I have fulfilled my promise hopefully sooner not
Many problems after 18 up
Makes camp fade and spirits die

Reality i face not
Thinking a world of fantasy not 18 up
Many things I dare face up
Scared of losing everything high & soon (hokkien)

Christmas is coming up
Cheers so soon
Makes me try to figure out
What Christmas is all about

Presents and gifts to those who pay
Who deserves a christmas gift
I deserve not the gift of grace I could not pay
The burden lift !!

I am a world without
Yet I begged of hope to try me
Hope came
but i didnt
Where am I ?

Thursday, December 11, 2008

One life

Some want to be the youngest millionaire
Some want to be the best in their fields
Some want to take revenge
Some want to change the world
Some want to conquer the world

I wish to make 1 difference in my one life

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Why am i missing ?

I have been absent for quite sometime have I ?
Since this is a blog i will answer myself .... yes !!
I have been thinking a lot lately
About what ? (self questioning again )
About what philosophers find so hard to answer. (awesome right ... actually )
What is it ? ( I got to stop this monologue )
The fundamental questions of course
What la ?( sounds Asian )
Who am I and What am I doing on planet earth ?
Why was I made? or at least taught to believe ?
What am I believing? What is the center of my life? (Wait hold it there )
Why ?(I think he has reached the age )
It is because I need time to reflect on what have been doing lately
Have you found your answers?
Yes I think so
What did u do in the process?
Lots of things I do not want to mention
Was it tough ? ( of course all the philosophy thing !! )
Actually the answer is simple yet i was not paying attention
Why are you writing like this
I think I got influence by some cartoon and tags
Anything else
Look for what is to come ... I am back and i will write more ( hope you do )
Anything else ??! !
Just that dont do this again
Why not ?
It is childish
Agreed !!!!!

We are the stars in the night

I once look out the window
and felt that the world was a very dark place
It was filled with corruption and hate
A world full of failures
Cruelty revealing its face

The abandoned child
The victim wife
The lost kid
the rebel teenager
The depressed father

I shut my eyes and wanted to close the window
As I touch the pane , A hand gripped me
Whispered his voice
look again
open your eyes and see

When i opened my eyes
I saw that a glimpse of light in the dark
I feel the warm breeze
It is not over
the world still has a chance

The abandoned child can live
the victim can live
the lost kid can live
the rebel teenager can live
the depressed father can live

Because there is still hope in this world
We are the hope
We are the difference
My brothers what we do make a difference
stand up and believe
We can sore

Monday, November 24, 2008

New look

Why did you change your template ??? The latter is not nice ? Some people complain is it ? or .... or .... or Some explosion happened ? YES that may be it... Nah .. it was a fine day when i felt, how sad is my blog .. so i changed it but knowing that forgetful mind of mine i forgot to save my Java script links so i cant even insert on link if you gave me ... serious help here !!!!!!!! haiz .. anyway let me explain why i choose this blog ? Well the name of this tempie is called bleeding heart ... let you guys imagine the rest ... Let imagination run ... run !!!

Thursday, November 20, 2008


“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost.

I felt so at the lost, like a wonderer without directions, left to die in the dessert or in the deep forest . I felt rejected by society and all around. These similar feeling that I hate, feels so familiar.
What would I do now ? Run from rejection ? I stumble on this verse. This feeling is different, no longer the hateful feeling but a feeling of relieve, someone desires you. I m not alone. I have you, you who are ready to walk with me. You who are willing to face dangers and rejection with me. With you I am not lost. Even if i am, i can always rely on you. You are love . Love everlasting !

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I need to change

My teacher once told me ,
Look straight at a student's eyes
You can see deep within

Who are we within ?
Who am I ?
a rotten rag
with no use

What am I worth ?
Everything in all creation

As I stand on the hill top
I see clearly
As I stand with Him
I see the pain

Who am I to waste my life
When I am so blessed
and they are not

Who am I to waste my life
When I have everything
and they have none

I need to change !

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Who I chose painfully to be

I wish to speak
Everything but words come
I wish shout
Everything but sound come
I wish hate
Everyone but me to blame
Some will speak
They tell hurting truths about me

Where am I to run ?
Where shall be step forth ?
Trouble became my friend
Loneliness my companion

You ask me if I have been a fool to do the things I do ?
I nod and agree
A word I shall not utter
Cause what is they to battle ?

To cut my hand
I put over your shoulder
To slash my heart
and use the blood to cover your eyes

I m indeed who I choose
The Lolipop or the bitter medicine ?
Listen if you hear
Think if you see

I gained nothing
If I owned everything
and yet not know
that precious something

I once heard
I am who I am because of what I chose
The hardship, The pains
I would not give them away because
They are part of who I am

Friday, October 3, 2008

You impact me

I swayed and found no ground
Like a homeless eagle
Flying and never lending

my eyes seem to close

I have my battles i admit it
those i m not proud of
those i just ran in hurt and pain

My body is in ruin

I have no home

He who made me i have challenged
Trouble i have cost
shame in His eyes I have filled
Nevertheless i fly alone
Alone in this stormy clouds
and this dry dessert

till i met you
I saw that those scars

I peep through those eyes

I recognize those marks
You are like me
One thing we were unalike

that something i did not see

That smile on your face

I am motivated
If you can face those challenges
And smile,
Fly through the dark valley
With Him by your side

It was not easy
I know
, but
You did it
And you did it with a smile

The joy that i did not have

The laughter i missed
so I m determined to change
even the storm
to follow the light in the corner of that room
And smile
cause though alone but i m not
You thought me something today
That i can fly today
and leave my burden away and smile
You!! impact me

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Another day

It brings hope in the darkest hour ... We lived another day , Another to change , Another to face our fears , another to conquer our enemy, Another to sing

For my holiheday pleasure, I have been watching the Avatar series.
It is quite an awesome show which of course, most evidently kick off my thoughts
One character in the show in Season 3, his name is Zuko the firelord's prince, ( bare with me if you don't get a word I am saying )
Zuko started as the antagonist in this story, he hunted the avatar and wanted to bring him back alive so that he could regain his honor as prince. You see this prince was banished by his father because he spoke up in a meeting and therefore disrespected his father. Therefore to regain his honor he has to capture the Avatar. In his journey, he learnt that his nation was treating the other nations cruelly and he for once saw the pain in others. But still he persisted in chasing the Avatar because it was his hope. It all came to an end when his sister struck down the avatar and gave the glory in His father's presence. He was instant restored and given princeship, he also had a girlfriend, his own kingdom to rule. But he could not do it, he felt empty and all he wanted he did not feel he got. He finally realise that honor, hope , identity does come by someone or something but only by helping the avatar that is fulfiling his destiny (according to the story). He thus changed from bad to good. He decided to turn back and of course it was easy and he fail even more in being accepted by Ang and his friends.

Somehow, i feel connected to this story, because in life , we try and toil so hard just to get the approval by others or something , we wish to be loved , to find our honor, identity and also not be alone in this painful journey. We chase after dreams plan by others or empty goals and visions. Where are we heading to ? Are going the right direction? As for me i drifted because i felt such an intense loneliness and i thought being with someone keeps me happy and i will not worry about being alone anymore but i was wrong because like Zuko I have been pursueing an empty goal. Being with someone will not fill this emptiness or the loneliness but like painkillers, just momentary. I need a cure and the cure is God. Though i drift away , i know i am welcomed home. What is my destiny ? Who would i be with ? How would i live? He knows,
He knows and I nust trust Him!!

Tuesday, September 30, 2008


FINALLY back to blogging, i m back not on a happy note well maybe (perhaps) a little since i miss blogging for a so long. The last post i posted was in August. Well i guess it is back to poetry for me, maybe it is something i can connect to those who understand it at its core. Here goes:

Autumn wind blows and rain follows
The window so old
Puddles of water overflow
My heart feels cold

Where should I go
Banished with nothing to sew
Trapped in a maze so tire
A place alone

Crossroad changes lives
Fire and Ice
Light and darkness
Who would you choose?

An injured warrior
by the pool
Arrows and wounds burn
Hurts within, a mountain of pain

A maiden's touch
A warm arms
An embrace
Someone dry my tears

I tell you
who can understand this
He who understand despise
Is there hope to live another ?

Why do i fight ?
Is there an end ?
What do i find ?
Distress !!

I just need arms to comfort
Where movies show warmness
Care I crave
Who should i go ?
Who should i go ?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

The new place

"What ? IPBA ? where on earth is that ? " " Why did you go there ?" "You want to be a teacher ?"
I feel that I am constantly bombarded with these questions. My answers may differ from people to people. How is my life in IPBA ( Which stands for Institute Perguruan Bahasa x2 a/b)?

I once saw this on national geographic. The mother owl will throw the baby owl out of the nest and the baby owl will be like clinging on to dear live afraid of dying. As it slides down the tree it claws scratch the tree leaving marks at the same spoiling its claws. It will try very hard to flap its wings, trying to not fall. It will of course initially fail but each attempt becomes an inspiration and hope to try harder. After trying again to not fall and climb to the top , it will learn how to flap its wings and eventuall rise higher and higher above the nest and flies off to find a new life in the wild.

On the 14th of July i was thrown out of my nest, and yes i tried so hard to not fall. At time i was telling my seniors that i was really on the verge of giving up. Orientation week was normally horrible and I could accept and adapt with my enviroment. I thought i was strong but i was wrong. My mom was my strength in all this struggle. Whenever i talk to her I challenge myself to go on eventhough it is tough. I did fail in many in my task , and sometime during the first weeked I was planning to tell my family I was considering of giving up my dream. Yes , My dream to be a teacher and educate pupils not about academic studies but rather life what is important , their live principles.

I saw that they were cheering me and I was in no position to give up. They gave me inspiration and hope. As one of my famous sayings the darkness has gone , the light will soon to come , trust... I was indeed blest beyond doubt to be given this chance therefore to Him who gave me , I must not give up. And they were right, there lapse of difficult situation but things started to turn out better. I started to meet other friends and carried many other activities except classes. My views of a weeked ? It is like a sweet air to a swimmer who has swam for a long time underwater. I love my weekend because 1. I get to meet family members 2. Definately Better food 3. the best - i get to go to Church. Oh it is so sweet !!

But when things are good , it is so easy forget God exist. I started to slide down the clift of sin. I confessed I have not been that faithful !! But as the long week at home for the first time i realise that i have found new strength to some what stand agianst the wave and tide . I really do need to get back with Him . I owe it to Him. I need to be strong and grow . And come to talk about it each expeirence has been a learning expeirence for me there. I have much more to share but for tonight that is all from me .

Because of you !!

Before you came, I never cared about life
Before you came, I lived in my life in waste
Before you came , I just rode pass life
Before you came , I have forgotten

Before we met, I was selfish
Before we met , I had no drive
Before we met , I was an idiot
Before we met, I thought best of me

But since you came, I am no longer me!!
But since you came , I am expected to get up
But since you came, I am not to give up
But since you came, I am not given a choice

I have to stand up
because you are watching
I have be strong
because you are in need

No longer must i be wretched
The long lost warrior's heart must be rekindled
It must a bright flame
so that you might know the way that is ahead

I thank you
because i m reminded of what i was fighting for
I thank you
Because i m reminded of who depends on me
and i thank you
because you returned my lost love to HE

For all those
I thank you
Because from now on
I am ready

Sharpening my blade
polishing my armor
Strengthening my shield
my boots rightly footed
and my belt fasten to my gut
my helmet on my head
War is at hand
and everything is on the line !!!

Friday, August 15, 2008

I miss you

I gazed at the stars
and somehow felt that you were near
I gazed at the grass and felt the wind
and thought it was your touch and your breath
I gazed at the water
and thought i saw a reflection of you
I gazed at the picture
and thought how much i miss you
You are family and my friend
You are the people whom i met and talked with
You are the people i will meet the another day
You are people whom have touched my life
I will see soon i hoped
When the we finally gazed at the beauty of Him

Friday, August 8, 2008


" Hey bro , did you remember the time when i was scared until I could not sleep because i thought aliens were coming after us ?" said the younger brother. " Yes i was awoke the whole night just to see that you were saved " they both laugh softly.

You see what happened was the older brother while helping the last of the hostages go was shot by the village men and was pinned down. The brothers sat down for the last time as they remembered the past and laughed and they joked as if time was not even there.

Finally the time came , The older brother's face turned serious and with those one look kill he said to his brother, "Go through the back and there is horse there , when you get on it run as far as you can until you reach the deep end of the forest " ," but ... but .. " said the younger brother but stopped when he saw his brother's eyes. And with sudden move the older brother got up and push the younger to the back as he himself ran and face the sea of gun man which awaited him.
He ran out and was immediately shot as the younger brother ran and rode of. Tears of sadness marked with thankfulness for having his own life. His brother's last words were " I cant protect you anymore so take care of yourselve " His brother took all the bullets 39 of them all together and smiled as the last bullet of his pistol hit the head of the headman that took their village. He had saved them all but yet lost his life

Friday, August 1, 2008


One of trio said he would go out and turn himself and walked out. You see the story is this these robbers were the poorest in the village and only live on the working wages everyday. They were not rich but were happy. But one day a village head man send my the gov arrived at that down. He started a new system that is a collection of tax twice the amount of their daily income. He wanted to built a mine and was planning to be rich.

So when the villages could take it no more especially these poor workers who were farmers and was later forced to sell their land and work as a miner to pay of the tax, they started to rebel.

So as the third ran out he was shot but he managed to kill the syeriff that killed his family because they could not pay the tax. Leaving the two brothers there . They led their hostages go as they knew they had no chance of escaping from their death but what could they do ?

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Blood brothers ?

Guns were shooting everywhere and the smell of gunpowder so strong in the town Midgotten. The gang of kidnappers are surrounded by villages and syeriffs. They have kidnapped a few customers in the bank and was asking for a safe way out.

The place was intense as the gang of robbers asked the people to meet their demands or else all will dead. The headman of the city with his white beard and long mustache sat there watch the whole thing and did not say a word.

The gang of robber/kidnappers were scared when they saw not only the people were not following their demands but were sending in waves of people to take them out. Chaoz broke down withing the house as one of the robbers shot another comrade. Leaving 3 of them in the house. What are they to do ?? ........ ( continue next post )

Friday, July 18, 2008


It started in the Garden of Eden and has spread through out the world. It sips in like a snake and strike you when it has the chance. Corruption happens everywhere especially when there is lawlessness in the country.

Corruption happens in schools , in universities , coperate world , politics and etc. So when it is so natural , is it correct ? Because when everybody is doing it , does it mean we can do it too ? How do we fight corruption ? What do we do when it has come knocking to our footstep ?? Are we doomed to follow ? Do we know the consequences if we did ? Will we live with a clear conscience ?

"You must walk in the fear of the Lord , that is my desire " sweet wisdom from my mom's lips. Yes we must walk in the fear of the Lord, only God can save us from comprising our principles , by always going back to the word and use it as a measurement to where we stand. But the decision still lies within you . To stand by what you believe or not

Thursday, July 10, 2008


I going to say good bye to my pillow , my bed , my fat dog , my room , my lamp .... and the least goes on and on. Saying goodbye is never easy. Turning your back and walk away not knowing when and where you are going to meet again is tough. It hurts depending on the depth you are with that particular person or thing.

Nonetheless, we have bit our fairwells , tip our heads and see our goodbyes because we have to leave behind our past and venture to our future and maybe when we come back someday we will be able to face our fear and challenges... but for now it is off to another place to learn things and seek expeirence.

To start for scratch ... It is a funny thing because me and another friend was wishing for this when we were in our class last year. Sometimes we wish for things we think we want but we actually dont know what we are asking for. Well i hope as i embark on this journey i will learn more things and God will be with me as i am with Him. He will be my guide !!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008


Today as i gazed at the sky
I realized there were dark clouds all over
The sound of soft jazz in the wind
My tear just flow
Rain drops wets my face
I hide my tears
but you notice my red eyes
It is must and I know it
You turn your back
And with briefs goodbyes
You set off on this train
To a place hidden from me
The train man is a trusted friend
and i know He will grant you save journey
He will protect you
He will lead the train of this journey
As the last part of the train disappears
I walk in to the station
and immediately take out my pen and paper
started to write :
Dear Train man
In your train holds my beloved
You have taken her away
An address i leave you
If it is your course
Come by again someday
and bring my beloved home
So we could travel together
As i write the last of the mail
I post it and the familiar sound is here
I looked out, there was train
that comes to take me too
but seperate WAYS we go

Thursday, July 3, 2008

My prayer list

1. My new school
2. Committee meeting today
3. JS Re- U ( my headache )
4. My health
5. My life to God
6. My family and my friends out there


I gnashed my teeth because of such frustration.Things that happen to me recently only have one word to describe ~ Irritating. Being the enemy of the devil is no joke. He will cause you all kind of trouble and irritation you can think about. He will afflict the body with all kinds of diseases or inflictions. He will cause the mind to snap by cornering its thoughts to what he intends you to do. When He fails he cause all kinds of worries to you. Next he will trouble you emotionally , He will get people to against you. He will cause so much discomfort in you that you want to give up . Somewhat like a wrestling match and he does the submission and wants to give up. He continues to go agaisnt your will saying you bad and terrible . It is no use for you to carry on ....
You know what ? Scripture says "Fear the one who can both destroy the soul and torments the body for eternity". " Do not worry , let tomorrow worry about itself " . Stand firm and fight the good fight of faith ... God is there . Being the enemy of the devil is no joke but being the enemy of God is doomed. Eventhough all is said .. i hope transformed me daily !! All the glory to Him above

Friday, June 27, 2008

My Seniors

Another three people going off to study ... Sometimes it feels like God is stripping the MYF of its talents and people but for a good course i guess :) Nevertheless they are going off and in every person's heart there lies a deep sadness though no words were said to spoil the ocassion. Another poem dedicated to my friends.

Words are cheap these days

The essence and the meaning has been lost

Thrown to the drain to wash

but words from the heart means a thousand meanings

There were no blossoms or cherrys

There were no sad scenes of tears but one

There were no plea to no live

All there were were happiness and celebration

Eventhough we smile inside we frown

Eventhough we sing inside we cry

Eventhough we laught inside we weep

Eventhough we say goodbye but we plea for your stay

Nonetheless down the memory lane

You were strangers to me

People of a different kind

People of a different age

I held much grudge against you

I envied you

I did not want to be with you

Yet in spring it all change

My once cold heart has melt away

My once anger has being extinguish

My once envy was no more

The wall was broken

If you did not took a step that day

I would still be away

Not wanting to stay

Not wanting to play

But since you took that step

I have much share

Much to laugh

Much reason to care

I once stood out side the window

In the cold day

With no one play

and anger to flame

But now i am in side

With you to play

on a hot summers day

Where friends brought new meaning

Because of that

I thank you

Because of that

Today is hard

Because of that

there is dark cloud today

Because of that

It is raining today

Because of that

I much to say and much to share

But the bus is here

and it is now time to say goodbye

like normal school kid do

till we meet one day soon

then we will have a meal

And the meal is on you

Thank You

Thursday, June 26, 2008

My world and your world

My heart sings ,my heart dance
with joy of ringing bells and rhytmes
I am without a care moving here and there
With my world so fair

But out of no where ,
A great big hole came out of somewhere
Took away my little world that seems so fair
where green grass and coloured flowers

It took my life of no care
to a land where no one shared
When dancing is stared
And singing is glared

With road signs leading to nowhere
Lost in this street where everywhere
Seems like somewhere
and home is can be anywhere

With confusing lips and sly smiles
they carry me off to the place to slaughter
to waste my precious life
that i so carefully store to share

Where is love that was always there ?
Where company was always there ?
and friends that really cared ?
Where justice so fair ?

Is this not the same world that i had ?
or was i blind because u blinded me not to care
When right seems wrong and the wrong seems right
and there are times you didnt know them at all

Is there hope is such despair?
Is it too late to repair ?
Is there a hero out there ?
Or is he lost somewhere ?

It is time to stand
to not let this world fool you anymore
for the hero is there
and there is hope much too share

We are lost to be found with care
We need to take this risk and dare
To trust of our precious life that was teared
For Him to mend & make it worthwhile to live and share


Red the colour of my phone
Red the colour of car
Red the colour of red carpet
Red the colour of my bag
Red the colour of crying eyes
Red the colour of danger
Red the colour of anger
Red the colour of the blood of a saviour
Red the colour of pain
Red the colour of sadness
Red the colour of stain of the heart
Red the colour of failure
Red the colour of love
Red the colour of happiness
Red the colour of flame
Red the colour of passion
Red the colour of determination
Red the colour of joy
Red the colour of achievement
Red the colour of death
Red the colour of my lips with a smile
Red the colour of relieve at the end

Saturday, June 21, 2008


Do you wish to live forever ? I do . I am scared of death totally freak out by it. I am scared i become dust and nothing. I have that fear i become nothing and my life is wasted. But after writing so much and clogged up with fear. Man no matter how great or small , how smart or stupid, how useless or magnificent will come to an end. Because if we dont we will left out and we would never know what lie at the other end. Nonetheless my fears are still here . But maybe maybe someday i will succeed in these fears and will be willing to face it face to face like a man. But for now , i really dont know and i will try my best to abide in the hope that i will meet my creator some day

Friday, June 20, 2008

Weird + Funny things:)

HON!! its u

No la .. aiya i thought it is you i was excited coz ( next image )

I thought you write chemistry book .. but haiz ... too bad la .hon

You were smart but not smart enought wakkaka

Guess what is this guys ? pumpkin ? No la it is Papaya ... cannot believe right ?

You know the movie Austin Powers where there is big me and minnie me ( Dr Evil )

Haha i thought these buns were similar to that and btw very few give buns in western food now here !!!

Happy super belated birthday DAD

Happy Brothers day

hi this me Mr Yee
look at my style
opps let u see my backside

These are my friends Mr Hon and Mr Tan
Mr Hon loves to serve and Mr Tan tells you important things

No matter what, this are my brothers

Brothers Brothers
We hold a big weight
Whether you notice a not
We bear a burden to be leaders
to be head of families and organisations
We created first that
because we will made to pave the way
We were made tougher
to stay focus in the race
We were made stronger
to protect those we love
We were made to reflect faster
to be called to fence in the front line
We were made for battle
to win the battle for our sisters
We were made for adventure
to open up unknown paths and keep the venture thrilling
We were made to win
to love our sisters with what we have
We were made to connect
to be prayer warriors for our sisters
If you want the best
you got to be the best
So brothers take heart
and be strong even when waves struck
this brotherhood remains
We will overcome this and encourage one other
in this union of faith

Monday, June 16, 2008

Fathers day

A Walk in the Park
It was like any other morning
The cool breeze brushes my face
As the sound of rustling leaves
Accompanied the melodies of the Chirping birds
The sun had just woken up

And as you stepped out from the old Kancil
I noticed you have changed
Lines on your face mark with joy and sorrow
Your once bright eyes have turned dim
But your warm smile still remains

I used to hate those boring walks
I never fit in, never accepted
I felt like an alien and foreign
Until you came along

When you walked beside me
I realized, That in life
When I faced hardship
You were there

When I said “This is Enough”
You said “one more “
When I said “How can this be ?“
You said “Accept it and trust in the Lord”

When I said “I don’t know “
You said “Come let me teach you”
When I said “I don’t believe you”
You said “Come let me show you“

When I said “It was not me”
You said” Just admit it”
When I said “I am sorry”
You said “I forgive you”

When I said “I did it”
You said “Well done”
When I said “This will do”
You said “Look Again”

When I said “Life is tough”
You said “I have been there”
When I said “Can we do it”
You said “trust me”

Dad, Without your firm principles
I would be nothing
Without your faith
I would be shaken
Without your prayers
I would be in trouble
Without your discipline
I would be spoilt
Without your love
I would be bitter

God made me
And God used you to shape me
To be the person I am today

Saturday, June 14, 2008

Almighty visit

A very strange feeling overwhealmed me when i was in camp. I was so troubled on the very first day ? Recently I was at my church annual camp and these feelings came and zap me like lightning bolts. I was troubled for a reason I had a lot in my mind. A lot of them seems to go around the fact that i am leaving my Kampung. Cheh wah " LEAVing KAmpung "

Leaving Kampung did not even entered my mind when i was studying here . But now it has become a reality and many things i have to take care before i go . Nonetheless i was at camp and these thoughts occupy my mind. Eventhough many greet me and congratulate me . Which reminds me i have to give God all the glory for my offer to further my studies . (What offer ? Haha if you want you ask me la but most of you already know - I will talk about it in my later post )

Anyway by noon on the second day of camp , we had some free time and i said to myself , i really need to spend serious one to one time with God and we did thanks to His mercy and greatness. He helped my cope with my current situation and thought many things. One of it was i must learn to listen for listening is like giving and His word says freely give freely receive. I asked God to meet me because i really needed a heart to heart talk and meeting his presence

At night when i was listening to the sermon and suddenly a surge of a strong desire overwhealmed me. It was a desire to be set apart for God to use . That was what i longed in my heart. When i was there a preacher prayed for me and I just talked to God. I poured out my heart to Him as we talked. He assured me that He will take care of the rest when i following and walk the path He has set for me .

Thursday, June 12, 2008

MYF => family

You are the mountain I need to climb ,
The raven i have to pass ,
The currents i have to overcome
the knife in my heart
You are the burden i bear
The pain that is afflicted on me
My dark cloud on the sunny day
my cold water in the winter
You are the sore in my eyes
I would give anything to flee from you
I am your invicible wall
You walk pass me day and night
I hate you
I dont want anything to do with you
I wish to leave you
I pack my bag and leave
But as I turn my head and walk
I feel your hand holding mine
I wanted to flick your hand away
but the amazing thing happen
I turned and looked at you
and this look was a different look
there was a strange warmness
Passing through your eyes
Just then
all hatred , all anger, all pain
all despair all dissapoinments gone
all is left is you just you
Why did i not see that person
and now when i learn to treasure you
I am leaving not because i want to
but i have to
But tonight
I see your faces and i know deep down
in my heart , you will be fine
because you have Him and
He will take care of you
so with that i leave ,
With the smile on my face
and a tear in my eye

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Waiting ?!?

Do you have to wait for no reason before ? Have a got that kind of feeling that it is so long ? How nice it is to shorten the time ? Especially the things that will decide your fate of your future ? You have to wait not because you have to but it is the lack of effiency of the other party ? Then i will say tag along come and seat here with me because right now I feeling this great impatience.

Nevertheless waiting helps you to build something that is PATIENCE . And as i reflect on today, I think that God is telling me to wait eventhough the impatience within me is killing me and I just I blair out my discontentment and complaint because I such a great injustice !. For one fact is if it is not for this waiting I would not be writing my blog :)

The time has come to submit the time to God :P

Saturday, June 7, 2008

HOT spot

Imagine you are the president of united states and you want to end the war btw Japan !! but many lives will be lost
Would u press it ... tight spot right ?
What is a hot spot ? It is a spot where everyone wants to go . Maybe because of its great food , great place and scenary . Well , the spot i am talking about its not the spot we usually talked about. The hot spot i m talking about is the spot of a leader.

A leader is the spot where it is hot because you have to most of the time think of what is the next move. You have to know where you are going . It actually symbolises driving. As a driver you have to take care of your passengers and know where you are heading to or where you are going. You have the responsibility to take care of passengers safety. And yes in a way you are serving your passengers

I dont really like leading in general because it quiet stressful most of the time but if i am called to it , I will have to hold the wheel with my best ability and drive my people through even through the darkest road , Even if you dont agree with me , Even if you want get out of the car in the middle of the road , but i urge to bear with me .... and i believe we can get to our destination together :) so GAMBATEH!!!!

The entry of new things

"I came into this world naked and i shall depart of it naked " and then he tore his robes and sat in ashes. If you know who i am talking about ? Yup its Job . I reading a book study on him in my quiet time and as i read of the tragic things that has happened to him. I feel his pain especially when he hit by soars and family lost . The worst part of it that he did not receive any support in this time of great need.

The WORD spoke to me. A story or a flash of a vision appeared in my mind that showed a great king seated on HIS throne and as He walks down this path a woman with her child between her arms were waving. The King stopped and looked at the child, he took the child from the woman and took him to the royal service. How sad was the mother of the child. - I was mad to know that - but what the great king wanted to teach this mom the meaning of submit. He was a good king and the son was brought to the royal service. The son grew and was fair in his job. He was even looked up by others and how proud is this mother will be of her child

Many a times things seem to be bad and we just dont know where to go ! We thought God has taken away our precious and we will as if we are helpless and cheated. Instead of sulking and holding a great grudge , i think we should learn to submit unto Him and how proud we will be when He return our precious made more perfect , more new and something more to be proud of :) .

Thursday, June 5, 2008


When i woke up this morning , after washing up discovered mom was making french toast !!! Makes me remember that time at JS ... wah french toast T.T i miss you !~! haha. Anyway after that i started to out for my tuition. I did not know the time so by the time i got there i realise that i was late so i rush to the tuition room.

While i there , i paid attention in the lesson eventhough i sort of was in a lost ... You dont have a choice when you miss a lesson at the point i regretted not going for the tuition yesterday .. I would not be in a lost !! But nasi sudah jadi bubuh . And as the teacher went on teaching , suddenly a very familiar aching starts at lower abdomen. The tension starts to build up. I know I could hold on to it. One hour more and I could release !! The teacher started teaching about water !! which made it worse !! "As water is not volatile Ether is " I nearly died! And then the clock struck 11 and yes in my head. The teacher suddenly stop and said let me tell you a story !!! ( die la ...) and then went on with his story. After what seems like forver he came back to his point and continued teaching and after explaining the concepts he asked " Class you get what i am saying ?" I was shouting YES YES PLEASE END ( i mean accept the last two words ) but the class was quiet . And then He had that look in his face that told me "Daniel , dont think you can go to toilet any time soon " OH NO !! .. I explain once more in detail and stressing it this time !! I was nearly on my knees and then he said "OK lets STOP for the day " WAH!!! I ran like no tommorow to the toilet and YES AH!!!!!...

I had Maths tuition at the afternoon which i was not late!! ( i m usually will not anytime in the future :) hopefully ) Anyway after a tiring maths tuition , my tuition hit the gong by saying that we were having physics tuition right after maths ... WAH!! TO understand further read the following :
4-6.30 Maths
6.30 - 9 Phy


Ping pong !!!

Uncle sam .. lazy to upturn it
Me after tat crazy game with the flour
Me again dfaing haha as Jack Sparrow
Weird something in the mall ? Leaf a ? pole ? fan a ? wat eva !!

Pops got a head like a ping pong ball ... haha if you have been with Uncle Sam when he talks you will know what i m talking about :) ooh another one DONA NOBIS PACEM .. haha and then GLORY GLORY to the highest .. wah .. memories !! .. the songs are so lovely but more important that speaks life my youth. A lot of sword piercing truths were said but were they caught ? That you will have to ask them :) .

Through this camp i learnt about WORSHIP - showing love to God and the many many aspects of it. I also got to know my MYFers a little ( more than i think ) more . The lessons that spoke the most to me were the morning devotions - Especially the story of the discriminate Zaccheus and the finally "Cai Si " ( hokkien ) prodigal sin . They teach me that I must look at person not the character or the attitude or the history or the background ..... Bottom line they are God's precious creation and because I love God I must love his creation.

My group !!! Winter !! I get excited about my group though I look it . This group started poorly because the first task was to walk one end of a line handicap in a group. I sad to say guys i fail to lead you. I was so blur and did not know what to do :( . Actually i did not even do much through out the activities during the camp . Many a time i fail to step up and i feel your lost and blurness. I try my very best to lead you eventhough it is blind leading blind haha .... Eventhough we were not 1st or 2nd ... You are 1st in my heart :) Because remember what i told you we bring back memories and expeirence not awards or medals ... We did well and you did well .. Continue to grow each and everyone of you !!

Sunday, June 1, 2008


hey guys i m off to go play !! haha bad English .. well off dun miss me

Breaking the wall

There is a wall around me
When i come close to you
i cannot seem to get through this walls
I try hard digging and drilling
But to no amount of help can get me through
i want to get to your side
i want to share the world with you
my life my expeirence my love
Yet this wall prevents me
It is unseen but each time
i move forward
i just knock into it
i m not blaming you for the wall
i might be the one who built it
i might be one who lay the bricks
maybe you too
I think it is time we break this wall
walk pass our differences and know each other
Eventhough i dont know where to even start
to which year shall i drill
But i feel with the help of the GREAT ARCHITECT
We can break this wall
Will you tag along with me
Let us together break the barriers and move forward
You drill yourside and i will try to do mine
some where in this wall we will meet
I believe!!

Saturday, May 31, 2008

Flame and Bizzare !!

Once upon a time , there lived a king who was very very very powerful. He own at least 5 kingdoms and had over a million of staraps and prime ministers and advisers . He was in control and he was the man. People were afraid of him. Some even never seen him but the sound of his name scared the life out of them. This king was great and mighty. Splendor was his second name

BUT he has a problem. He is very into Himself. So one day he built a giant statue of Himself and place it in front of the people asking them to worship Him and those who did not - roast human flesh for dinner. So everyday people who hear trumpet will bow down to this big statue and his ego grew bigger and bigger.

One day he realize that three of his advisers did not bow. They just did not... And it was a big blow to his ego. So with the hurting ego added rage with bad comments from other advisors. He wanted them to be grilled to carbon. So he increased the flame 7 times hotter. Before i go any further, let me tell you abit about this three dudes. They are of a different race from other advisors, they come from a region where they worship one God and his name is Yahweh. They hold strongly to this God that he dont care about the cost.

Anyway back to my story, this king was boiling an egg on his head and he ask them to be put into the flame. Before this three dudes went in, they had their last words and it was My God will deliver me and if he does not i want to prove to you He is Lord of my life. This king just shut off and say in you go , dont talk so much . And then the most amazing thing happen , they were not cook instead they were enjoying the sona inside, they had another friend (an angel ) and they had a great time.

SO the king going crazy ask the dudes to come out and wow no smell at all. This king was so shock that he odered them to "upgraded " to be higher ministers because this people hold to their believe .

At times i fail to be half of this three dudes. I fail to trust my God and I worry a lot. I have other Gods in my life and was troubled . But after talking to him, its time i trust him a little more, CG Spurgeon commented on this story above and he said something like " It is God's nature to throw us in the fire , and it is his nature to be us in the fire ". If you trust him , great things He has installed for you . :)

Friday, May 30, 2008


I Love YOu .. and i want you to know You R the BEST :) even with you faults Muaks

Called or last fate

Do you feel at times you want something and you just dont get it and then when you dont want it you got it ... Well maybe taking up post in organisations are these ways ... i mean when you were a small fry you want to be big .. you want to be labelled made it .. and want to be boss but when you reach the top ... Its just it .. nothing big unless you have super ego and want to show the whole world. Apart from that , it is nothing and it might be a burden .
Being big has its pros and cons .. pros is you can lead people and hopefully people will follow .. Cons maybe you have a bigger responsibility .. Spidermans main theme .. with great power comes great responsibility ... Will i be a good boss ? Can i lead people i dont know well ... or am i just as John Maxwell says taking a walk in the park where nobody follows ? Am i ready to lead ..? Will i fail ?
I wonder what was on Abraham Lincoln's mind when he became president ? or Even my dad when he became my dad ? Well i believe this men did not know that they could make it but they believed in themselves and most importantly God ... So i m trusting the one BIG Boss i have .. Boss lead my path ... Even i dont even know where to start .... Is this Your calling or is it my last fate ( end of the road )

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Love letters

My brain this few days have been skip togther with my heart jump here and jump there but this particular thought came to me !! Random thoughts and feelings .... If you want to .. go ahead and read but dont think too much .. haha ... here goes the CHIM stuff

To my beloved
A dedication to you and for you
My heart skip to the left and to the right
Every thought of you thrills me
Passion will be my horse
Love will be my flame
I want to be the knight worthy to behold you heart
I want to an excellent swords man
Defending you in the midst of deadly enemies
I want build my body so that you could
sink your gentle head there and rest
I want to be a big cotton wool
To Soak up all your tears
I want to shine my best smile
when joy dances around you
To see the stars with awe
and grow white hairs worrying about life
I want to be wounded
so that my scars will be your stepping stone
I want to wrinkle
and still go crazy about you
Your beauty will be my pride too
And will be precious jewel till the end of age
Before any knight will form
Before any horse is rode
Before the heart is strong
Before any swordsman fence
Before bodies can be build
Or Arthur be found
I must first embark on this journey
The journey of danger with hungry lion and flaming dragons
The burning of the hot furnace
The chance of return never known
The traps are crafty and tricky
and what seems impossible seems to be a friend
Friends and foes cant be told
Yet the price is Gold
Gold that thieves cannot steal
nor robbers could touch
It is not alone i leave you cause a journey
You too must embark
A great Teacher i leave with you
A great Care taker i leave with you
A great Father i leave with you
A great friend and king i leave with
HE is countless times greater than i am
If i could i be like half of him
I believe He is a patient person
Learn well from Him
Grow tall with Him
Let him be your pillow or cushion
When you need !!
I trust Him with my life
and i belive you will
When you need Him
He is just a prayer away
I leave you now with smile to remember
A laugh to hear
He will lead you to me
and He will lead me to you
When Spring comes our eyes will meet
We shall sing in Summers
Watch leaves in Autumn
We shall meet to face the toughest winter ahead
for now heed my advice beloved
I will try my best to become
as you try to overcome

My Brothers in Christ !!

Let me tell you something this brotherhood.
1) No money can buy
2) They are my pals
3) They the best !!!
4) Hope our bond will last
5) They are actually very very different people ( haha if you know what i mean !!! )

Well the following are the headline and stories of their recent visit !!~

Well , I believe there is always a cost to pay for everything accept grace !! Before they came ...SCRUB!!!! ... house cleaning !!! I really sweat it out you know !! haha ...
i) I thought they would know the main entrance ... mana tau they go wait at the sesat place !!! haiz ... hon la ....hahaha .... nevermind la found you also !!

We go visit penang !! Baa~ we are here sheepz .. we went to church but guess what ? We did not go in .. haha ... only hear from outside ... haha why ? Because we wanted to go for evening service ...

Wah .... hou sai le !!!! Everyone should watch this !! cool man !! This is one of the best movies i watch so far !! The funny thing was i read the bible in the morning and it was talking about faith and when i saw this movie ... what was it main theme ? ! Faith and trust !! wah so chuun~~
We tak sampai go to church !! haha .. but that was the sermon of the day !!

We reach the house .... played monopoly .. wah so long never play this game ... one rule !! see what buy what !! haha craziness ... played for 2-3 hours ... buy here buy there ..!!! Results were sheepz was Mr Rich while Hon was Mr poor ... i m somewhere in the middle !! but the best part is Mr Rich want me to visit his hotel .. and guess what ! i never even smell the hotel !! haha I survived :P

I have not played this game for a long long time !! Nevertheless it was fun playing with different opponents

Reach home about evening ... late ad wor ... so i prepared dinner ... ((pause) prepared as in how ? ) CooK ? haha ... no la !! not qualified haha.. go and buy la ....

Went everywhere !! OIL!!! T.T as long dont finish can already .. dont want to pump !! no money ... luckily !! no need if not my brothers will have to push the car !! haha .. i brought them to place i myself have not been before !! Shame !! live here so long .. dont even been to the tourist attraction ... Its like that one !! haha You will know !!! :)

Watch the two towers !! (LOTR) Lord of the .... haha i was on the two towers ... Seeing the great Ents approach with big rocks destroying my refuge !! A bit exaggerating haha ... i was at the Menara ... got a birds eye view of my home town !! and it was relaxing ... my mind was clear

Outsiders that come here usually will facinated with this plant .. haha .. i think my brothers were ? >.<

No doubt my brothers visit me but this is no excuse to skip tuition !! .. haha i m a good boy .. where got skip tuition wan !! ... bluek !! Maybe a little late !! haha ... but will skip next week !! haha . no choice

Well if you like spicy food ... this is the best place ... TOM YAM .. too bad i forgot to bring my brothers to eat ... haha ... but they ate the local famous food ... !!! haha the ROTI CANAI and NASI LEMAK super duper chunn .. if you dont believe me ask them !! muahhaha... i m on heaven !! haha ....

i) Fish
I have an anouncement !! haha .. hon ate FISH !!! haha .. the best fish actually it is nice ask him and see hahaha ... !!!

ii) Sup TOPEDO
Let me explain the story lay out ... 1)It was a Tuesday night and we were hungry for something to eat ... We wanted something to kick up our night !! 2 ) Sup Topedo is a cow's ahem !! haha .. you guys know !!! Anyway we went to the place and wanted to eat it .... famous you know !! .. and then ............... ( turn to Andrew wong @ taiko for the continuity of the story ...)

The best part of their visit ... It was a building time !! We pour out our hearts and hope we would help keep each other accountable in each area of our lives ... i know i sometimes will fail them and most importantly God .... but this visit strengthen me ... i want to change YAY !!! I wont fail you guys !!!

It was sad seeing them leave .. though we had many more funny stuff but i will leave it to Hon to write . Miss them much ... my brothers !! will miss you guys !! Be strong !!! and oh ya hon !! FISH!!!! hahahaha