Tuesday, October 28, 2008

I need to change

My teacher once told me ,
Look straight at a student's eyes
You can see deep within

Who are we within ?
Who am I ?
a rotten rag
with no use

What am I worth ?
Everything in all creation

As I stand on the hill top
I see clearly
As I stand with Him
I see the pain

Who am I to waste my life
When I am so blessed
and they are not

Who am I to waste my life
When I have everything
and they have none

I need to change !

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Who I chose painfully to be

I wish to speak
Everything but words come
I wish shout
Everything but sound come
I wish hate
Everyone but me to blame
Some will speak
They tell hurting truths about me

Where am I to run ?
Where shall be step forth ?
Trouble became my friend
Loneliness my companion

You ask me if I have been a fool to do the things I do ?
I nod and agree
A word I shall not utter
Cause what is they to battle ?

To cut my hand
I put over your shoulder
To slash my heart
and use the blood to cover your eyes

I m indeed who I choose
The Lolipop or the bitter medicine ?
Listen if you hear
Think if you see

I gained nothing
If I owned everything
and yet not know
that precious something

I once heard
I am who I am because of what I chose
The hardship, The pains
I would not give them away because
They are part of who I am

Friday, October 3, 2008

You impact me

I swayed and found no ground
Like a homeless eagle
Flying and never lending

my eyes seem to close

I have my battles i admit it
those i m not proud of
those i just ran in hurt and pain

My body is in ruin

I have no home

He who made me i have challenged
Trouble i have cost
shame in His eyes I have filled
Nevertheless i fly alone
Alone in this stormy clouds
and this dry dessert

till i met you
I saw that those scars

I peep through those eyes

I recognize those marks
You are like me
One thing we were unalike

that something i did not see

That smile on your face

I am motivated
If you can face those challenges
And smile,
Fly through the dark valley
With Him by your side

It was not easy
I know
, but
You did it
And you did it with a smile

The joy that i did not have

The laughter i missed
so I m determined to change
even the storm
to follow the light in the corner of that room
And smile
cause though alone but i m not
You thought me something today
That i can fly today
and leave my burden away and smile
You!! impact me

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Another day

It brings hope in the darkest hour ... We lived another day , Another to change , Another to face our fears , another to conquer our enemy, Another to sing

For my holiheday pleasure, I have been watching the Avatar series.
It is quite an awesome show which of course, most evidently kick off my thoughts
One character in the show in Season 3, his name is Zuko the firelord's prince, ( bare with me if you don't get a word I am saying )
Zuko started as the antagonist in this story, he hunted the avatar and wanted to bring him back alive so that he could regain his honor as prince. You see this prince was banished by his father because he spoke up in a meeting and therefore disrespected his father. Therefore to regain his honor he has to capture the Avatar. In his journey, he learnt that his nation was treating the other nations cruelly and he for once saw the pain in others. But still he persisted in chasing the Avatar because it was his hope. It all came to an end when his sister struck down the avatar and gave the glory in His father's presence. He was instant restored and given princeship, he also had a girlfriend, his own kingdom to rule. But he could not do it, he felt empty and all he wanted he did not feel he got. He finally realise that honor, hope , identity does come by someone or something but only by helping the avatar that is fulfiling his destiny (according to the story). He thus changed from bad to good. He decided to turn back and of course it was easy and he fail even more in being accepted by Ang and his friends.

Somehow, i feel connected to this story, because in life , we try and toil so hard just to get the approval by others or something , we wish to be loved , to find our honor, identity and also not be alone in this painful journey. We chase after dreams plan by others or empty goals and visions. Where are we heading to ? Are going the right direction? As for me i drifted because i felt such an intense loneliness and i thought being with someone keeps me happy and i will not worry about being alone anymore but i was wrong because like Zuko I have been pursueing an empty goal. Being with someone will not fill this emptiness or the loneliness but like painkillers, just momentary. I need a cure and the cure is God. Though i drift away , i know i am welcomed home. What is my destiny ? Who would i be with ? How would i live? He knows,
He knows and I nust trust Him!!