Wednesday, April 30, 2008


I hate the word for its meaning ..... I hate is because i have issues with it ... if i could i would like to smack it in the face ...... I want hate it but i cant because where i stand .... I hate when it existed between me and God ...

I short sighted
I cannot see far
but what i see now is disaster
War and turmoil
Within and outside
I am fading
You ask me to trust
This the one word i hate
Cause i dont trust anyone
It cause me pain
Why should i listen ?
Yet without it
I know i will sink
into the sea like Peter
What agony
you understand my path
you understand my heart
you understand what i am going thru
But what do u say
The very word i dislike

Tuesday, April 29, 2008


The bible says grace adds with sin
but sin no more
for we were dead to sin
and will rise with christ on the last day
We still sin
Every sin causes the heavens to shake
A river to flow
It is the breaking of GOD's heart
Saved by grace
Does not mean we abuse it
It does not mean we have a chance
but this is our last chance
It makes a church goer sin
It shows the ugliness inside
But once we accept it we are clean
Makes us pure within
comes to those who seek it
not to those who want to feel righteous
But to those who seek to change
A person i still dun reall know
Trusting him is hard
and i learn it the hardest
when i did not listen
and forsake him
Its not easy to trust
when there is damaged
when there is darkness surround
but what is a christian
when he cannot learn trust
What are we without them ?
It takes out the best in us
Yet so many times we
Thoughts and whispers we are not suppose to listen to
but nontheless many of us still do
Why do we do it ?
Betray our master's trust
It is the spot where Satan wants us to be
It is where we dwell
It is death itself
H-o - p -e
Where is human beings without it
Behold it is here
Grab it and seal it within your heart
For once the light is gone
It is no longer there !!!
It is what many are searching for
What many are destroying for
What many are dying for
I can never comprehend these
until i hold THY Hand
darkness comes makes me a puppet
Free me I pray
and I BELIEVE !!!!

Sunday, April 27, 2008

The Confession

I have a deep confession to make. One that i m not happy to write about but i have to. Well as a christian and a follower of christ i have done many aweful things. I have failed most of the time to live up to name christian. I have said i would repent but most of the time i didnt. I would say hurtful things to people sometimes. I would fail to share this awesome new to others most of the time due to fear. I would fail to share what i have when i m told so. I fail to do what is right and i want to apologize for the wrong doings done .

I cried

You might think what a funny title for a post .... Well this recent post is about my life expeirence and it is taken from my journal... some info before i start ... lately i have not been doing well starting off with my studies but this is what happen ....

" Today i cried . i am so much afraid of the future .... My enemies the amalakites ( metaphor) pestizes ..... i cannot face it , i feel so small, so stupid , such an idiot ... i am scared of being rejected. I cried because it was hard facing it but i doubted you ( God ) and am sorry i ever did . i was reminded by my mom that i am small and useless but you are big. You have called me to walk this path. I am weak but You are strong ..... "

I think i can face the world with Him watching

Thursday, April 24, 2008

What i am afraid off

1.Being alone
2.Being hated
3. lost and blur
4.Never being good enough for the people i love
5.i dunnoes
6. Death itself
7.Disappointment and regrets
8. Rejection ( which includes 2)
9. God ( what he might do to me )
10. Myself

The stage

I have been on skits , being MCs , musical ( MYF Sund ) and all that ... and i realise in every all those so call show biz .... There always scenaries .... and they are nice and beautiful ... but the saddest part of it is that no one bothers to notice them ..... Actually ...In this world ... there are plenty of scenaries ..... Its not out in the open fields or in the far far away land .... It is right here in your classrooms ... In your role play ... in your acts ... or even among your friends .... or your classmates ..... Society ... They are the grass that fits and makes the show looks nice .... but never mention or heard about .... If you are still clueless ... Then take deep breath and then the next time you talk in a big group of friends and crazy chatting open your eyes to see what is around you ... As i said they are beautiful but nobody notice them ..... Once upon a time in my life ..... I was a part of the scenary ..... I know how it feels .... It tears you apart .... You someward a stranger but you check yourself to see ...The tag on your shirt says friends ..... and in one part of my life i was brought to light ... i was finally noticed ... finally being who i really am ..... But after a while ... the light is gone and i am left at same spot as i was in the begining .... i think i do have a chance now but soon i am afriad i might lose this light again and be alone in this dark valley being the scenary

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

When I feel lonely and sad .....

When i feel really really lonely or really really sad ..... I like a taste of Jazz and Blues to calm my soul . Though it is not much to a hungry soul ..... It soothens my heart ..... When i feel really really lonely or really really sad .... I like to watch the stars with a friends and just marvel at it not wanting a whisper what the world is happening ..... When i feel really really lonely or really really sad ...... I like a hot chocolate with some biscuts just to talk with a friend like you .... When i feel really really lonely or really really sad ...... i like to gaze at the evening sunset and enjoy the evening breeze that soothens my heart with you ..... When i feel really really lonely or really really sad ..... I want you to be real with me ....... Not to tell me what is wrong with me ..... but to tell me i m here and am not going anywhere ..... When i feel really really sad or really really lonely ...... I like to talk with God and let Him drive my loneliness away ..... Because I am a fallen race that needs the Hand of a Divine .... and i m sure God appreciate Jazz and blues ...... some chocolate .....or even gazing at his creation ..... I dont know what to think because every post i write i will always end up praising you .... Even if i want to be self pitied .... I will praise you ..... I simply do not know why .... Its my soul's call to its creator

Cold days

It is at times you feel so weird,
You don't feel yourself ,
Some parts of you just tired,
While others just wrestles

You fight to keep yourself ,
But it seems like world war 3
You grip yourself ,
Hoping it will not fall apart

As the gentle sound of jazz,
You sway with time,
Into the hour of test,
Hoping you suceed tis time

Loneliness is a sudden feeling
That makes a soul quiver
That makes a heart trouble
That makes life tremble

You part yourself from what
Was so meaningful to you
You know they are there
But sometimes they don't care

O my saviour, what cold mine shivers
Only waiting for your warm so marvels
This nature that never good
Hoping to taste of love that is true

Saturday, April 19, 2008


There comes a time in every person's life he or she will start makes choices. Milk or Chocolate ? .... Coffee or Tea ? We make decisions almost everyday. I once heard someone say" Its not the destiny that finds you , you find your destiny. " Choices makes us who we are " and these are true. We were created with a gift - A special gift that is the ability to decide. Many of us or i dare say most of us struggle to make difficult decisions in life. Decisions that will determine the future. Decisons that could destroy or build.
Before we deal with how or what to do with this complicated or hard choices, lets talk about the core of the issue : What is it that is in us that makes us struggle to make decisions ? Well, the truth is from the bible..... We fail in our first decision that is the decision to take the fruit that is of Good and bad ..... We were deceived ... and deep down we are afraid we will make that mistake ..... That mistake that hurt only God but ourselves ... That same mistake that lost all we had.
Well we could forever let that scare us but now we are given that choice once more .... To not repeat the same mistake men make .... decisions that cause us the fall apart ... God came and said common this is your second chance do it right this time .... He gave Jesus to pay for the first of our mistakes .... And now we are in that same place in the begining to decide once more .... Just that this time ..... We have God on our side for council ... We must learn to tap upon Him for help and not foolish go ahead again

Friday, April 18, 2008


23Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.

24See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Oh what agony

I wish i am a little kid that dont have to face the world so grey
I wish i am like peter pan and run the world
I wish i am like wendy who follows peter
I wish i am like a bird who is free to fly

My dear friend can i leave the snare and traps line for me
My dear friend can i not see what is ahead and stay like this forever
My dear friend when can i be with you ? ?
My dear friend how do i escape this time prison

If i could skip time i would , to best there is
If i could slow time i would , for the sweetest
If i could replay time i would, for the memories
If i could play time I would , rather it never

Who can understand me , God does
Who can cover me ,God does
Who can lift me , God does
Who can control time , He does

He holds everything yet He let time pass by
He can destroy evil and safe good in an instant yet he let time pass
He can cut short painful time yet he chose not to
Because He cares !!!!

2 in 1 tag ...

List out 5 presents you wish for :
1. Love
2. Belonging
3. Peace
4. Freedom
5. blessings of a house hold

The people that tagged me : En Wei and Wen Dee

Your 5 impression of the Ladies ?
A big eater .... crazy ... see my size .? .. i lose to her
A super duper funny laughter .... U see u willl laugh with and (at ) her
Cool hair
Absolutely wont laugh when she doesnt want to
Noisy in a good way

Wen Dee
Super hyper
Have a crush on Mc flurry
Very cheerful
Deep at times
and very deadly with her word !!!!

Most memorable thing she has given/ done for you
En Wei - Lepaking !!???
Wen Dee - kee siao !!

Most memorable words
En wei - Da niu - Wen Dee

If he/she bcomes your lover,
We will see what happens

If he /she bcomes your enemy,
I will be extremely sad

Pass the quiz to 5 people that you wish to know how they feel about you:
1. Joanne Ooi
2. Shaun
3. Chia Ching
4. Dan Ting
5. Sarah Y

1. Who is no. 3 having relationship with?
Special Girl ... i dunnoe who ....

2. Who is no. 5 having relationship with?
not that i know off

3. If no. 3 and no. 2 are together, will it be a good thing?
If that happens .... hmm... nightmare

4. What about no. 4 and no. 5?
Not possible

5. When is the last you chatted with no.5?
Last Fri

6. Does no.4 work?
Still studying

7. Do you have any cousin in his/her own school

8. Will you be with no. 1?

9. How about no. 5?
no no

10. How did you get to know about no. 2 and no. 4?
Shaun - JS
Dan - MYF

11. Where does no. 1 live at?
Alor Star

12. Is no.5 the sexiest person in the world?
i dun wan to answer this !!!!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Breaking down and rising up

I am breaking down

Each piece of me seems like falling apart ...

Each crack is getting louder .....

I seem to lose myself .....

I seem to get out of control .....

I cannot hear the sounds anymore ....

Its like sudden vaccum has surrounded me ....

Like seconds before a disaster strikes .....

Seems like all hope is gone ...

Seems if even with one moment i turn away ....

It will fall into a million pieces ...

And all is gone ...

I do not wish to see your face ....

I wish that you would not look at me .....

This state of uglyness ....

This state where my humiliation is all i can face ....

Come back another day when all is fair ...

Come back another day i dun look so ugly.....

I m so fed up with myself ....

Go away !!! ....

Please forget me !!! ....

I am not worthy !!!

This hurt and this disgrace

I don't deserve you !!

They have gotten the better of me

I can feel the pressure

Here they come !!!

A haunted man like me

A convict like me

Do I have a choice ?

You think I can win ?

You think i will fall

Surely not !!!!

This time We will make it

A new dawn is approaching...

No longer will I have to face you guys

Never !!! He has given me authorithy over you

You may overcome and pounce on me for the momeny

but the time comes !!!! You shall not previal!!

He is my light and my sheild

You will confuse He will explain

You darken He will make day

You opress He relieves

You strike 10 times He strikes 10000 times

Thank God !!

Now i know i can win and not bow to him

Sunday, April 13, 2008


You can never comprehend this word. It is too overwhealming that you when receive it , It break the toughest man on earth. Such is its power!!!!!! Anyway i got a glimpse of it and here is my story:

It was 7.30 and i was impatient. This mangkuk people when are they coming !!!! After like 20 min the driver came took me and a few other to my doom. My driving test !!! .....And I hate that road to the testing ground it is so bumpy and killing. Ok cut the long story short, I was there and took a number. It was crazy cause like 170 people were taking the same test at the same time. Anyway i met up with my friends and we sort of sembang ( friends since we got L together ).

So after like forever i was called to do my parking. Before i went into the Car , There was this old man who took the test also .... It was a slope test ... He went up and all of a sudden lost himself ... meaning he just went blank ... He let go of everything and the car when down the slope the other way ( belakang ) and it hit another car. Aiyo I kesian the pak cik. This scared everyone who was about to take the test. Anyway it was my turn and i went up the slope looked at the tester for recognition. Nothing. So i went down and then went up again. Same no respond and out of no where. He said "apa nombor you " " ok la turun " signaling i was safed (whew ) .... I went for parking and thank God everything went OK...

Next my test on the Road, I saw that many failed. Including one girl who almost hit the car in front, and according to her she fail the test twice. So sad. I went him said my helo's to the tester and off i go .... So i started my engine did my checkings and off i go . On the road out i was fixing my gear box and reajusting my gear. Then i saw this Mak Cik along the road. She was big size . I avoided her a little but it seems like not enough so i went pass her quite fast and whoosh. I did not hit her but she was scolding all kinds of words .... My testor gave me warning and treats that i might possibly fail. I was silent... We went to out and to a place cannot remember and then we came back... By the way i was still fixing my gear. Anyway , We went back to the testing place and he was very grim ... i thought i was going to fail ... He like wrote a lot of things and then he looked up at me and said ok la .. i bagi u pass ..... Thank God ... i thought i was doomed for ...:) ..

When you know you have done something that you know you going to get servere consequences for it but you did not get it due to this kindness and mercy. THATZ GRACE and until he expeirence it..... You have no clue how privilage you christians are ;)

Thursday, April 10, 2008

HARD times

"Hey lets go to the beach .... Its 4...... and it is our beach time " cried one of our members. Eventhough I didnt look like i really wanted to go. My heart was pounding with the rush of excitement through my veins. I wanted to go because my heart is there in the waters and the soft sound of the sea . After a long day and week of work, I just needed this rest. A hands full of us march our way down the beach. As we were there , I felt something strange , something different , something not like the last time was there .... It was a strong wind and bubble keep surfacing from the sea signaling a wave has been formed. I just stood there amazed by this sudden change and willing a cool breeze shaking my spine . Nevertheless we still proceeded to play some activity at the beach.

When it was later in the afternoon, we were tired and exhausted and seriously want a dip in the water. We went and had swim. At first we started to play some game in the pool but after that all of us just could not do anything but stood there. And there is was wave after wave... We were swept away by each blow .... But each blow we stood up. And this time we held hands and the wave came again. " Here it comes again ..... 3...2.....1... puff ... The wave almost covered our head but amazingly we stood!!! Even though some of us were blown away and the connections were broken. But we linked up again.... " Here is a big one " My friend CC shouted ..... Pufff .... Completely swept away.... After a while they were tired and went up to shore ..... but I stood there saying in my brain one more ... Come on... wave bring it on .... One more.... In Life waves strike us hit after hit after hit .... and fighting the waves in Life is not easy ....It overpowers us as much as we want to control it ... but in every wave ...It is a challenge .... a risk ... a chance that you might not stand through it ... and most of the times .... The battle is not fought alone ... Remember the story i told you ... It is by linking hands we stood firm .... And we linked up again eventhough we were separated.... We need God's strength and wisdom to face life's toughest challenge ... and we also need one another to pull through .... And surprisingly when you have been through it all ... You become stronger , wiser , tougher , better than before and you can now say to the wave ...." come one .... bring it on ... i m ready ....!!!!"

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Stand UP 2 ( unfinished )

Hey guys as i was talking about standing up for your sisters ( girls ) those you know. The main " syndrom" of many of us is that we are gutsy enough to make the decision. And yes we are afriad deep down that we will make the wrong decision. Decisions that one we will blame ourselves. We dare not stand by our decisions even if it is the wrong one. We trained that when we do wrong we must cover up. We are also not train to take risk and will always play safe. Secondly i think we tend to divert our attention to other things when we are suppose to focus on the goal. We were named a leader and am a leader by nature. We should take lead and with power comes responsibility. We should be responsible of our love ones. Their hearts and their bodies must be our main pirority. Lastly but most importantly, We must be a people of God. If we lean on other things it will fall. If we lean of God we will stand and stand tall. By this I want conclude by two poems to challenge both guys and girls. I got sweep off my feet when i read those two.

This is a poem by Ann Landers for the girls :
I have leveled with the girls from Anchorage to Amarillo
I tell them at all marriages are happy.
Its is the living together afterward that's tough
I tell them that a good marriage is not a gift
Its an achievement.
That marriage is not for kids.It takes guts and maturity
It seperatess the men from the boys and the women in girls
I tell them that marriage is tested daily by the ability to compromise
Its survival can depend on being smart to know what is worth fighting about
or making an issue of or even mentioning
Marriage is giving and more importantly , its forgiving
and it is almost always the wife who must do these things
Then as if that were not enough, She must willing forget what she forgave
Often that is the hardest part
Oh, I have leveled all right
If they don't get my message,Buster
Its because the don't want to get it
Rose-coloured glass are never made in bifocals
Because nobody want to read the small prints in dreams
For the guys Lena Lathrop says it all in the book A Woman 's question:
Do you know you have asked for the costliest thing
Ever made by the Hand above?
A woman's heart, and a woman's life -
And a woman's wonderful love.
Do you know you have asked for this priceless thing
As a child might ask for a toy ?
Demanding what others have died to win,
With the reckless dash of a boy
You have written my lesson of duty out,
Manlike,you have questioned me
Now stand at the bars of my woman's soul
Until I shall question thee
You require your mutton shall always be hot,
Your socks and your shirt be whole :
I require your heart be true as God's stars
And as pure as His heaven your soul.

Change and I mean it

Ten Things I will hold on too starting today
My core principal in life
They are in line with the ten commandments
First Commandment :You shall have no other gods before me.
-7 years i commit to the Lord to be single and focus and rely on Him solely to be unchased and not indulge in Romance
Second Commandment: “You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.
-I shall make in any form idol whether it is music, cartoons ,movies ... anything .... My God is 1 st
Third Commandment : You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
-I will not curse God's name and will study His name stands for in the bible
Fourth Comandment: Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy
-I will remember to rest and spend time talking to God
Fifth Commandment: Honor your father and your mother
- I will obey my father and mother to the best ability i can and will do my best as their son
Sixth Commandment : You shall not murder
-I will break and bring down anyone with my words .
Seventh Commandment: You shall not commit adultery
- I will learn to keep myself pure for my wife and will only be committed to building and caring for her
Eight Commandment: You shall not steal
-I will try not to steal God time by doing other important things and no privacy !!!!
Nineth Commandment : You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor
- I will be honest in my relationship with others
Tenth Commandment : You shall not covet your neighbor's house
-I will not envy or long to have what others have especially in the area of relationship but will be thankful with what i have

Saturday, April 5, 2008


Guys sorry for the post poned but i will write tomorrow :) thanks for patients

Thursday, April 3, 2008


It is raining outside with the down pour so loud and fierce terrible ..... and i m trap in this world where i cant escape ... i want to be free to fly ... i want to be free to sore..... but the fierce rain and storm has kept me confined in this corner .... i dare not look .... It is night and it seems to be that all hope is gone .. It seems to be that all light seems gone ... I felt i have failed everyone ... an unseen red stream flows from my heart ..... I dare not raise my head .... i dare not raise my chin.... i dare not even look at you .... How could i ever face you ??? I have hurt you and end up hurting myself .... tiny droplets start to fall from my face and tiny droplet grow into bigger ones .. and soft sobs turn into weeping .... My heart cries out ..... I m a traitor ... How can live on ?

A small still voice whisper to my ear ..... Why are crying ? Why are you so down ? The stranger came and put his hand on me ..... i didnt even look up .... " Sir .... i have betrayed my master .... i have betrayed everyone and i feel so terrible ..... i cant stop myself..... " The stranger was silent for a moment .... I look up to see whether he has left me like the rest ..... There for the first time ... i saw his face .... It was ugly .... it was wounded ... but most of all it was crying .... He held my hand .... i felt there was a strange hole there .... it was as big as a nail.... He broke the silence with his warm voice not like before ..... " Dear Child . ... Do not be sad anymore .... Cause when you cry .... I cry too .... Each time you feel rejected I feel the rejection to .. Each time you bleed I bleed ..... Because I have took it on myself to bear this pain together with you .... I took it on myself to be with you through all the wrongs ......" " Who are you ? " for the first time i asked with a sudden curiosity .... " I am your master's son ...." " The master is no longer angry at you because of me ..... He has sent me to lead you out .... I have beared your sorrows but your punishment that you deserve ..... Look at these scars..... There are yours and mine to bear ...." Furiously i screamed : " Why ?? Why ?? I need ask you too ... Why?? " and i started to melt and cried in his arms ..... hitting him ..... like a little child ... " Because you belong to me and you are mine ...... and this is my love for you .... therefore cry no more ..... be bitter no more .... dont go down the same path again ...... Look !! ..." As i turn my head and gaze out the tiny window .... i saw light and the sun which in now rising after the rain ..... It is no longer night ... The darkness has gone .... I turn my head with a sudden rush of joy and gaze on Him for the first time in the light ... There was this warm feeling that i have felt when he talked to me .... He was no longer beside me ... but has risen and was about to leave.... He turned his head and said .... come follow me .... Lets face the world together .... :)

Do homework first .... haiz .....

First Name: Daniel
Nick Name: Da Niu
Name i wish i had : neh .... i like my name
Wat do ppl usually mistake my name : david ?? dunnoe la my name easy to remember

- Your Appearance -
How tall are you : 16_
Wish you were taller?: Ya
Eye colour: light brown
Hair colour: black
current hair colour : black also
Short or long : short :)
Ever dye your hair a bizzare colour : nope ... wanted yellow ...
Last time you did something bizzare to you hair : Nothing la ... mayb cut super short .
Glasses or contact : glasses ... never believe in pinching your eveball

-This or That -
Flower or Chocolate: Chocolate (hello i m a guy )
Pepsi or coke : Coke
Rap or Rock : Rock
School or Work : School
Movies or Music : depends
Country or City : Love the country .... Nature is close to my heart
Sunny or Rainy : Sunny

Flower: Roses ??? how i know ?
Candy : white chocolate
Color : i like the colour of the sky
Singer: Not Particualar .. mayb nickelback lead singer ... aiya as long as u take me out of this world
Word : Wadda,mangkuk, swt , haiz ,how r u ? haha
Junk Food : Bytes
Website: Blogger
Location: Beach take me there...
Animal: Dog