Broken but not down

It would be something like dropping a crystal glass. It shatters into a million pieces. I wonder how does it sound like when a heart breaks. It has got to be a loud cracking sound because the pain is certainly real. The vulnerability felt after is somewhat unbearable. When rejected, a person feels lost and most probably abandoned. Something like a mom throwing away a baby. Sometimes, people go insane because of this. Yet majority of the crowd goes through it and turns out ok ! I guess.

The word I got this morning is be contended with what I have. I am asking God what do I have left ? Its all shattered pieces. It was even trampled upon twice ! How do I go on living ? Many or a good sum of people will tell you that it is a phase of life. I am here to tell you that it is certainly a phase of life but if you don't go through it well .. It will end up breaking you further. Now back to question - How do I go living ? A broken relationship if you piece it together, It wont stick just as well. You somehow feels that something is missing from your life.

Many will just look for another to fill that place. In this holllow of emptiness. Its an agony ! I think God does not want us to have these relationships. He intended them to nourishing and encouraging . It is we human race that turns it rotten. Despite that, what men meant for evil God will turn to good. I keep having these saddening thoughts in mind. It taunts me like as if broken these little little pieces just plunges your heart and blood just simply flow out in tiny streams. It is easier to find a replacement but it is never easy to stay single !! And the repeat the cycle. It is hard to be contented with being friends. It is hard to say I don't care anymore. It is hardest to say that I am going to wait upon the Lord instead of go out "hunting".

I think this is my bear and my lion. As pastor andy says, I need to go to school. He needs to mould me to walk a greater path ahead. He needs to mould me so that I could be with someone He has prepared for me. That this relationship ahead will be nourshing and encouraging to one another. That we will love another with Him at the centre. That we can say " I need God to love him" How do I go one living ? By simply living in His grace , holding on to His goodness and yes be contented with what He gives. For God bless those who loves the Lord.