Infection 129 - Only present for 2 days

Infection 129 has strike me, when I look in the water, the reflection does not seem to show the real me. What have i turned into ? i dont even recognize him staring back at me ! Who can I see ? Where can I go ? The endless spinnig of the wool like a victim caught around spider web. I wish a achieve a lot of dreams but it seems like this web has prevented me like glass escalator.
What I want to do I cannot do ... What I do not want to do I keep doing - Paul. This verse pretty sums up most of my headaches of my life. Plus some unwanted incidents have flooded me. I do not know how to handle !! I am collapsing! Who will catch me ? I believe ! No one !! Its ok just let me close my eyes and disappear !! I am tired and do not know where to rest !! When you feel the world is about to come to an end ! What do you do?

Above is the reflection of my life. I felt it is an endless rat race. Pursue of fake joy, happiness and estacy. I have also neglected my responsibility as student and child. I know I can do better. Pressures, bad circumstances, pleasure. I think I have led those control my life. It has been rotten. I am coming to an end in my horrible sem. Many questions and struggles overwhealm me. It seems I have lost my identity and life. If this goes on, every single thing will crumble. I need God !