Light of the world
You shine when all is lost
You brighten the way for me
You brought me warmth
A clear mind
And a warm heart
Father I need you
Light of my world

O.O What ?

Your crimson hair mirrors the glory of the evening sun
Your blue green eyes enchant those who gaze upon you
Trapping them in a world of marvel and mystery
Your red cheeks are outblushes the roses of the feilds
Your smile metls the blocks of Iceland
Your beauty is a source of life to a dying man
It intoxicates and makes all man want more
Its power makes even the saness man mad
And its like water that rejuvernizes any sold
It never fails or fall dim as time passes
My beloved if only I know your name
You are found in places no one looks
Your kindness amazes me
Your passion entangles me
I am on the brink of being chaos
Thinking about you
Yet I know not where are you
You shy in the shadows
Hidding quietly till I find you


O, my dear library staff
If only you would tell me your name ?

Family of love or abominations

As I sat half naked and fresh from 13 hours of sleep on board, images and voices from the events hours earlier hit me like a large waves. I tried to hide behind my cold cup of juice and shut my eyes to forget only to find myself meeting face to face. One issue is clear. Family is important.

The saying maybe overated and being used in countless films and movies as a underlying moral theme to educate children of the worth of being united. To be truthful, as I grow older each year, I find myself believing in this value difficult and somewhat estranged to it. As a child, this has been my core belief and trusted value. I would do anything to protect it. But as the years goes by, the family unit becomes irrelevant and troublesome. It becomes an obstacle rather than happiness.

With many arguments and sore discussions, we find ourselves doubting its meaning in the saying "family is important". We find ourselves questioning is it worth it ? May it be precious time spent to find unappreciative remarks by a loved ones or joyless encounters which leaves us dry and tired or even the petty arguments which have many layers deep of issues burying it. What was once so precious only becomes an eye sore.

The question we ought to ask is what happen ? How did we move from the point of "I love you" to the point of " you disgust me " ? What do you think?

How daring of we, mere humans to desire your love
A spectacle that deserves no honour nor attention
An outcast, a rag worthless and rotten
in comparison with Thee

We make ourselves gods
not knowing You laugh at us
Pitying our endless struggle
O, how have we sinned

To anger thee, the one great creator of universes
The light of all beings and the center of creations
How wrong are we to turn from You
To go against what little kindness You gave

You spin the planets and command the stars
The universe is in the palms of your hands
Time bows down to you
And with a single word, all creation can be turned to destruction

O, how foolish are we,
To turn our backs on Him
To make ourselves greater than He
I shiver and tremble of the thought of angering Him

To the depths of Hell, I find no peace
to the deepest and darkness I hide but to no avail
Because You are there wherever I go
I may hide from men or the devil but I will never hide myself from you

In nothingness You are there
Your words are law
Your might as draws no limits
Your strength extend to no end

And yet
I ... I ...
I am speechless
Awed ,amazed, swept off my feet
knowing this greatest fact in the word
That is
You love me

His Beauty

Beautiful, Spectacular, Marvelous, Awesome, Sparkling, Radiant, Magnificent, All knowing. Beautiful, beautiful ,beautiful
Words cannot describe You
You are beyond my biggest dreams
Who can compare to You
The author and creator of life
Your works and your being
just looking at you
No words can describe You
My words are meaningless
Letters are not enough
To contained such beauty
Such awe
I tremble at the thought
of your presence
I trembled at the thought
of your audience
A beauty like no other
My God my God my God
You take my breath a way

Here in my little shell

Here in my little shell,
I am happy
I am unhindered
I can be free

Here in my little shell,
I do not have worries
I do not have a care
I do not have problems

Here in my little shell,
I sheltered from storm,
I succumbed to no foe
I live my life in peace

Here in my little shell,
I wonder what friends are
I wonder what the world is
I wonder what love is

Here in my little shell,
I have no adventure
I have no days to look forward
I have no chance to shine

Here in my little shell,
By my own,
I peak through the small little hold
Too afraid to go
Too afraid venture
Too afraid to love
Too afraid to be who I am
Too afraid to lose control
Too afraid to be something else
Too afraid to become someone outstanding

I want to but I don't want to
This comfort is too much to lose
for the life of uncertainty
for a life of pain and confusion
For a a life of dissatisfaction
For a life of danger
Is it worth it ?

BAM !The gunshot goes off
they ran with all their might

I

stood there motionless
trying with all my might
to move even just a step forward
But my legs would not move
and the race has already begun
All there is left is
me

A lonely pony
questioning the reason of my state
gnashing my teeth at the wind
frustrated with the sand
angry with my shoes
but who is there to blame
but me

I need help
someone to pull me out of this water
because if I struggle any further
the deeper I sink
Like quick sand sucking me in
till I am no more

Melodies of Love

Love Love Love
Everyone is hunting for love
Feels like it is the season for love
As all the land sprouts of Love

Love Love Love
Where art thou ?
I thought I found you
There there there !
But all I found was your shadow

Love Love Love
I looked at the beautiful scenery
The trees, the flowers and the sky
And thought Yes ! Finally I have found you

But Love love love
You hide in the depths
so that no one sees
Those whose seek you
cannot find you
Those who hunt you
Wont even catch a glimpse

Love Love Love
You are a funny thing
Just when I have given up hope
You were there all along staring at me
But I just did not want to see you

A chase after the wind
An idiot who acts smart
Love Love Love
When all else compares to Thee
The world shalt fade
And only Thee my Love
Shall remain

Love Love Love
When the trembles roar
And the my heart apart
There you are silently
Picking me up
Licking my wounds
Pulling me up
Its that you
I do not know
Its that you
I do not see
Its that you
I do not want to FACE

What a magnificent life ?

What a magnificent life?
It is perfect
No flaw No mistakes

Without shame, without pain
Without sadness
Without boredom

Full of passion
With knowledge and much to attain
No delay nor suppression

A time of joy
with endless excitement
With music and asset
Easily attain

What family and friends
Happy and harmonious

What a magnificent life ?
Just that its a facade
And nothing more

Because you won't enjoy happiness without sadness
Nor cherish passion without coldness
Nor excitement without boredom
Nor friends and family without arguments
Nor satisfaction or comfort without working for it

An inspirational Song

My Song
Vocals: Girls Dead Monster (marina as Iwasawa)
Lyrics: Maeda Jun
Composition: Maeda Jun
Arrangement: Hikarisyuyo

The day ends while I’m searching for where I can vent my irritations to
The sky turns gray and I can’t see anything beyond it
Those who feign common sense are laughing; what kind of lies will they tell next?
Can you leave the things gotten that way carefully embellished?
But I must move forward to tomorrow
So I’ll sing like this

It’s you who are crying, it’s you who are lonely
You’re right, you’re being human
Tears I’ve shed will say this
It’s not a lie that it’s so beautiful, even like this; thank you for our true selves

There are dreams you want to fulfill and dreams you can’t reach
That itself turns into a dream, turns into hope, and people are able to live on, right?
A door exists; it’s waiting there
So I’ll reach out my hands

For you who are crushed, here’s the strength and confidence for you to be able to fight again and my song
Tears I’ve shed will say this
Thank you to the miracle that we were able to meet in a dirty and ugly world, even like this

Inspiration from Beethoven no,5

As thousands and thousands of people filled the empty seats of the great hall. Each expecting something magnificent. Each expecting to experience a sense of pleasure, enlightenment and a sense of greatness.

The stage became dark but there was nothing.

But a soft sound is heard

It was sound of sadness and dismayed

One could cry and almost be depressed

Suddenly
The spot light
As the pianist entered a great crescendo
As if giving a loud roar to the audience
One could feel the anger and rage
The stress and anguish
The pain

And then silence

Only the sound of single keys playing
As if little children
whispering their minds
Their loneliness
and the abandonment

As it ends
Another crescendo steps in
as if to echoed the dismayed felt
as if to sing along with the misery
and with a great forte
The pianist stops and finished his great piece
The lights shut

They crowd clapped
They cheered
Many praised and even shouted in delight
of the great music that was heard

There was no words said
But through each note
a message was told
A story enfold
only those who listen
Will heed its calling

JS 2008

JS 2008

Our school picture ! What am I talking about ? Well, it is a school and its called jeremiah school, hence the name JS. Why did I post it ? Well I would like to tell you that we have all grown since the last post. Many of us have moved on with our lives. Many of us have gone to pursue a degree and a respected future. Some of us have even had life partners and even been very active members in University. Some of have gone overseas and others have stayed back to study. What really amazes me is that we have travelled so far in 3 years that this seems to be only a memory.

Guys if you ever get to read this . How have you been ? Remember the promises we had ? That we would stick together ? I guess that won't happen. It does not matter. How is your walk with God ? Have you strayed away ? Have you been walking beside Him or away from Him ? Have to been destroyed by depression and sad events in your life ? Have you been blinded from what is in front of you that you forgot what is above ? Have you been so afraid of speaking out when you should ? Have you been lost in a maze and seem to be heading the wrong direction ? I wonder.

I am not here to judge because similarly I have been in those questions and doubts. I feel that I am running a rat race with no purpose or end. I guess when times are hard. You become hardened. So guys if you read this, I just have one thing to say ! I am turning my face back to Him. The fact I have not posted this up is to tell you that I want to make this a reality before telling you guys. Anyways take care and be strong.

Have you ever have the feeling that you are going around in circles like an endless maze ? It a feeling like just when you are about to reach the exit, you find yourself at the start once more. It became so hard that you welled up in your comfort zone. You became so comfortable until you forgot how to try ? I guess things will never move until you take that step forward. Its not that step forward but that unwilling to give up attitude must be present. And Oh yeah, I forgot the most important part. You need someone stronger pulling you out. Guiding you and pulling you out. They play an essential role. As for me, I know God will pull me out because I have faith in Him. Because I know He is good . Because I know that He loves me infinitely that I could never comprehend. He loves my soul and my being. And even though I really don't know what will happen when I pass away. Of which religion is the true way. I am living this live following Christ. For a very simple reason, I believe in Love. Why do sound so vague? What Love am I talking about ? Well ladies and gentlemen, its a warm feeling when comes upon you. You feel that emptiness within you filled. You feel that you belonged in this place. That nothing and nothing can take that place away from you. You ask me why do people run away from this love ? There are many reasons. The first to count is fear. A fear of the unknown, a fear of the troubles, a fear of rejection from loved ones. A fear of discrimination and alienation. Second reason would be pleasure and escapism. They would rather dwell on the "fake" pleasures than to wait for the real deal. And the third. A burn out. That is what happen when one forgets this love. He could recall this feeling as his heart has gone cold. He would accept this love because he cannot sense it anymore. Just like a man who has become blind. It would be heart for love enter his heart.

Three people

3 people standing in front of me

One who I do not love
One who I hope to loved
One who I loved

One came
One ran
One walked away

Love is a tragedy
It brings pain
It bring grieve
It storm a person's heart

Love is also a haven
It bring comfort
It brings excitement
It brings joy

Three people standing in front of me
And they seem so far away

New heart

2010 holds many significant changes in my life. Some events are just tragic, Some events have been full of excitement and Some have been heart warming. I just noticed that in every event I have been through there was one person behind it and that is God. Whether it was sitting on my bed and being totally lost and self destructive or on cloud 9 and the adventures. He pulled my through my depression and lost. The pain of separation, the confusion, the fear and the disillusion. He rejoiced with my accomplishments, reliefs, and thought many great life lessons. What holds on ahead ?

I would not like to make a new year resolution in which I might not keep (i checked ). Rather a yearning for a new heart. A new start ! Some tend to celebrate a "birthday" or a celebration to welcome a new perspective in life. I just want to hold on and hopefully walk forward with strength.