Gamble of your life

Past few weeks have been a waking nightmare so far for me, something like seeing the beating of someone that you loved. I stripped myself of whatever values, principles, rules that have governing me all my life thus far. I tried to search for the ultimate truths of this life. I wanted to know whether what i hold is something call a fantasy when others expeirence reality. I began with the question what will happen when I die and like a maze that started from the end tracing whether I will arrive at where I am standing- the starting point. I wanted to know this because this will probably lead to the life in which I would lived. As my search carried on and on, I began difting to the many possibilities one human can believe and carry on his live.

My conclusion is there is ultimate truth in this life. There is no one way where you can 100 % guarantee to know where one person will go when he or she dies.

So in short, life is a gamble to where one would go. Some do not want to gamble, waiting for the answers and regret. Some made do not know which to gamble and end up with nothing. And yet there are those who gamble with all that they have got to see whether they have lost it all or won the whole lot. For me, I choose to gamble, I choose to gamble on God that he exist and he loves me.

Greatness thrust upon

We are all dillussioners
We are losers
We are monsters
We are all fading flowers

We are here gone tomorrow
We are conceive by greed
Lust & Power
We desire ourselves

But, what makes human beings different
from all other beings

We have the ability to change
We have the ability to dream
We have the ability to hope and wish
We have the ability to be different

Yes I am good for nothing person
That my existance is just a speck on earth
That I will disappear and count for nothing
And Yet - And yet I dare

I dare to close my eyes and see
To hope for the impossible
To dream for the unthinkable
To be the beholder of this great light

Many mysteries unheard
Many puzzles to solve
Many heart breaks to heal
But I dare to take that step

WHERE ARE YOU

" If I had not been so naive
To think that there is good
In this world
That the I could roam freely "

" If I had been wiser
To think it is everybody for their own
Even people that believe they help
are pursuing selfish reasons"

"If I could whisper
To tell others that lovers
are all out to gratify
Their cravings and needs "

"If I had been there
The end of all journeys
To see for myself
What stands at the end "

"If I could tell
For myself which is good
and which is bad
And those who care are sincere"

If I would yell
The words " I hate "
It will only be to You
And hopes it repeats forever

Why did you give me something
And I take it back
By the cruel way
Reaping my heart out

You show a world of fantasy
Where pain and loneliness don't sound
In your celebration and praises
When you smile and laugh hurts me

I know I am the worst
But that does not give you the right
To step and stab me

I know I am a loser
that my decisions lead to hell
My language and expression sucks

You made me
Where are you now ?
You prove to be true
but how true are you ?
WHERE ARE YOU!!!

Thoughts in the wilderness

This world and its functions are too hard to comprehend
The pain and pleasure , the ever wondering heart

The taste of sweet melodies
To shake the heart or minister to the soul ?

The sound of strong words
To inspire own pursues or heavenly message

The sight of gatherings and kindness
Artificial or real

Sometimes I wonder
Am I alive or dead
Sometimes I wonder
Have I make the right choices

Is the one they own
Mine too ?
How do I know
He exist

I asked Him sincerely
but no answers have I got
Maybe I am too naive
Or maybe just maybe
He isnt there

A passing by

I realize that my blog is full of sad things. In a way, I have my moments of doubts, sadness and confusion. My moments of loneliness, crack downs and pain. But if i reflect my life thus far.. I have enjoyed countless moment of memorable moments in my life. Times of laughter, Times of joy , times of craziness. Nonetheless I hope for the challenges ahead as I journey. I will more tomorrow if I can. If not See you guys

There was never a world
There was never a God
There was never a me and you

If I tell you that we live
In such meaningless existance
That by the end we will die

If I tell you that we lonely,
Everyone is selfish
That by the end of the day is me only

If i tell you that we are not good enough
Everyone is better
That by the end you will never be good

If I tell that we are dreaming
keeping dreams that keeps us happy
That by the end we are nuts

Would you ever believe me ?
Would you say I have the problem
That your world is bright and shinny
That mine is gloomy and troubled ?

Where do we stand ?
Are we useless beings wasting the planet
Do we mock one another
Thinking that one is still young and no thoughts
That what we say is childish songs
In your petty ears

I don't you will
Because you world is far too fine
You will refute with a wave of words
Tell me a thousand things
I wont listen anymore !!

We are afraid

We are all afraid of truths. Truths that I say are truths that exposes us. Makes us vulnerable and gullible. We often try so hard just not to accept it and think of other means not to do so. Some truths are too big to uncover and if we had known, it will reap us apart.

We are afraid of rejection. It is the thing that hurts us and makes us stand alone. We are afraid that one day we not accepted, abnormal and become an out cast.

What can we do ? I think its not to stay down when you are rejected, or give up on truths or conceal them . I think it is stand up and face it once again . It is true that you may fall again but getting up each time will be easier until you can stand firm !!!